On the Lighter Side........
Restaurant Humor
The sign in a restaurant bathroom read:
"Employees Must Wash Hands"
Under the sign, someone wrote:
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them
myself.
(Note: Feel free to fill the blanks in with any person or group you would like to pick on)
A __________ goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on his coffee cup. So he peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"
The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch."
But the __________ keeps on screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a
motor home!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says, "I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize."
The ___________ says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!" And he hands the ticket to the manager and who reads...WIN A BAGEL
Termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey! Is the Bar tender here?"
At a restaurant on the Mass Pike, the waitress took a customer's order and was walking to the kitchen when she realized she'd forgotten something. She turned around and yelled, "You wanna roll with your dinner?" "No, thanks," the customer replied. "I'll just sit here and eat it.
At a local restaurant an angry regular customer called the manager. "Look," he said. "The portions of your daily special are getting smaller and smaller." "A simple optical illusion, sir," replied the manager. "It's only because we've enlarged the dining room."
Having dinner with a friend, a man explained the peculiarities of the restaurant he'd chosen: "The waiters never admit they don't have something. They'll take your order for a slice of sun and go away as if they mean to get it -- then they'll come back and say they just ran out." To prove his point, he called over the waiter: "I'll have a double order of dinosaur, please." "Yes, sir," answered the waiter. "And how would you like it?" "Well done!" The waiter left and returned quickly. "I'm sorry, sir, but we've just run out of dinosaur." "What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment; "No dinosaur?" The waiter lowered his voice. "Well, we do have some left," he said confidentially - "but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!"
A colleague was leaving our office for a new job, so we decided to throw a farewell luncheon. I made reservations for 30 people at a popular restaurant. On the day of the event the place was crowded, but we were immediately seated. People who had been lining up for a table seemed unhappy, and we thought we heard some disgruntled comments. Our suspicions were soon confirmed when a restaurant employee announced their table was ready over the loud-speaker: "Starving - party of four "
A well dressed gentleman entered the bar of a five star restaurant, sat at the bar and ordered four very expensive drinks. The bartender served them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The man then consumed all four drinks in a matter of seconds. The bartender commented, "Wow, you sure must have a problem." "If you had what I had," the man replied, "you'd drink them fast, too." Leaning over, the sympathetic bartender asked, "What do you have?" "Fifty cents," the man answered.
A waiter, at the end of taking lunch orders from a party of three men, asks, " ... and to drink?" "Water," says the first patron. "Water for me, too," says the second. "I'll have water, also," says the third, "and make sure my glass is clean!" The waiter comes back with three glasses of water on a tray and asks, "Which one wanted the clean glass?"
I went out to this restaurant not long ago and met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."
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